We've only just begun

August 27, 2009 my husband graduated OCS class 011-09 Echo company! Woo hoo! He became a 2LT within the United States Army and will begin his Field Artillery Officer training within the next year! I was so proud of him, words cannot illustrate the emotions that coursed through my body as the love of my life walked with pride and accomplishment across that stage to accept his commission. Wow...it was truly amazing! This entire journey so far has evoked so many different changes. One thing I can say is we have truly grown, as individuals and as a couple. What a great start to such a turbulent career path. I am so proud of my husband, of my LT. He is amazing, and I am confident he will prove an asset to the US Army, and to any FA PL he leads! Congrats hubby!



And two days before that, we were able to attend his company's formal, which served as a celebration for all 132 graduates for that class. It was so fun! I met some really great people, and had a blast talking to the new sgt's wife. She was such a doll! I was totally freaked out before the formal though. I have been taking hormonal supplements to help with fertility, and my weight and body mass fluctuates with each cycle of pills. Well, when I bought my dress for the formal, I hadn't taken any supplements, as I was out. But the day before I tried my dress on for my husband, and it wouldn't zip! Talk about major spaz mode!! Luckily, JCPenney took it back and had an even more adorable and form flattering dress for the same price! All-in-all this has proven to be an eventful and amazing journey...and we've only just begun

AS

Changes impact everyone involved...everyone, adult or child. Well, with all the changes recently, with my husband being gone for his training, and the inconsistency of the visits and so on I have seen changes in my son. At first, I was thinking it was purely stress related, as my son is incredibly structure-oriented. As I continue to watch him, and see the changes in him, I am becoming more and more concerned. He is having trouble socializing (he's only 6), he is becoming lethargic, obsessed with the Army, and is changing all the way around. I am so worried about him. His biological father has ADHD and my youngest sister has Autism (severe). Both of these disorders are genetic, and with my son having Austistic spectrum disorders on both sides...the chances are increased. Well, after research (and having worked with disabled children and adults for 7 years) I am afraid my son has Asperger's syndrome. I have done extensive research on this disorder, and have worked one-on-one with children who have it a year back, and all the information I am finding is only making me worry more. At first, I thought he was just struggling to adjust to the changes, and took drastic measures to try to help him adjust (keeping him busy, new activities, family day as often as possible, and so on). Now I am convinced it is more. Each time we go to the park, he struggles to communicate with the other children. He can play with the younger children, but not those his own age. If anyone knows anything about Asperger's Syndrome, please let me know! I want to devour all information so I can prepare myself to help provide the best life possible for my son! I haven't spoken with his pediatrician yet, as we were just there a couple weeks ago. I just want to have all my ducks in a row before going to talk with her...

In My Life

So I had to use that subject for the title because it is just too fitting. This past Valentine's Day my husband and I wed. My son walked me down the aisle and did the honors of giving me away. For the dance with the one who gave me away (my adorable son), I chose that song. It just seemed so fitting, you know? If you listen to the lyrics...it puts into perspective just how our life together has been. Through all the trials and tribulations, all the struggles and challenges...he's there. Our children are blessings, and should never be taken for granted. Each morning they bring a smile to our face, and each night we beam with pride and love. Motherhood is truly amazing!
Today, as Caleb climbed on the school bus, he touched my heart. He turned around, winked and gave me a huge heart-melt smile and said, "I love you Momma." He was the only child to do so, as all other children are too embarrassed by their parents. It's moments like these that just melt my heart. He is amazing, and so loving. And to my dear Caleb, the Beatles said it best when they said...'in my life, I love you more'...

Everything changes

As I sit here and wait for my husband's company to return from their 12 day FLX (field exercise) I can't help but realize how comfortable I am with this entire situation. First, let me start off by saying I have never been one who does well alone! I grew up in a large family that was always loud and someone was always there...always. And even after I moved out of my parent's house, I still had to have someone there all the time, and slept with the television on for years to break the silence. However, as my husband progresses through his Officer training, I am becoming more and more comfortable with him being gone. At first, a plethora of fears and insecurities paralyzed me to the point of not being able to deal with my emotions, but after an introspective view, I realized they were nothing more than insecurities and fears. How can you get over these???? Let them go, let someone else worry about them. Let's face it, you can fear all you want. You can worry all you want, but all you are doing is limiting the happiness in life for you, and all those around you. So, after 26 years of being scared and insecure, I let it go. It's kind of weird to sit here today, and realize how much I (personally) have changed from this experience. Now don't get me wrong, I will still fear deployment...who wouldn't? I mean, I can't think of one military spouse who doesn't fear sending his or her loved one to a war zone for at least a year. That is my fear. Beyond that, I have no fears.
It's amazing to wake up and realize that life is great. I mean, I married my highschool sweetheart, Caleb (our son) just amazes me every single day, and things are going to be okay. This new life, this new me, is something for which I owe incredible thanks to my husband. He was determined to show me there is nothing to fear (except fear itself). He was determined to illustrate love and happiness for me. He stood by me through so many troubles, and has always been there when no one else was. Finally, I fear no more. We sat down one day this past winter and decided we wanted to commit ourselves to a religion. We both believed in God, but neither of us believed in the religious beliefs of our families. We both took religion courses in college and had a pretty vast knowledge of what to expect and what was expected (and accepted) of each religion. I had been asking him to go to church with me, but he kept declining my offer. I didn't want to push. Finally, we sat down and realized it would be best, not only for ourselves, but for each other, and for our son. Statistically, families that attend church and religious services have lower divorce rates. Plus, there's an amazing spiritual cleansing process that happens at church, it's invigorating! So, we decided we were going to pursue Catholicism.
This year has been full of changes, we married on Valentine's Day, he joined the US Army, we moved to Georgia, I had an epiphany, our son learned to read, and we found our faith. Faith is a funny thing...as it is all a matter of perception. So many argue with religion or the presence of a divine being; however, once you have experienced the other side, you realize there must be a balance present, there must be something divine and good to balance out the bad. How else could blessings like family and children be present? All I can say is I am so grateful to have this life...I've waited 26 long years...and it was worth every second of the wait!