Everything changes

As I sit here and wait for my husband's company to return from their 12 day FLX (field exercise) I can't help but realize how comfortable I am with this entire situation. First, let me start off by saying I have never been one who does well alone! I grew up in a large family that was always loud and someone was always there...always. And even after I moved out of my parent's house, I still had to have someone there all the time, and slept with the television on for years to break the silence. However, as my husband progresses through his Officer training, I am becoming more and more comfortable with him being gone. At first, a plethora of fears and insecurities paralyzed me to the point of not being able to deal with my emotions, but after an introspective view, I realized they were nothing more than insecurities and fears. How can you get over these???? Let them go, let someone else worry about them. Let's face it, you can fear all you want. You can worry all you want, but all you are doing is limiting the happiness in life for you, and all those around you. So, after 26 years of being scared and insecure, I let it go. It's kind of weird to sit here today, and realize how much I (personally) have changed from this experience. Now don't get me wrong, I will still fear deployment...who wouldn't? I mean, I can't think of one military spouse who doesn't fear sending his or her loved one to a war zone for at least a year. That is my fear. Beyond that, I have no fears.
It's amazing to wake up and realize that life is great. I mean, I married my highschool sweetheart, Caleb (our son) just amazes me every single day, and things are going to be okay. This new life, this new me, is something for which I owe incredible thanks to my husband. He was determined to show me there is nothing to fear (except fear itself). He was determined to illustrate love and happiness for me. He stood by me through so many troubles, and has always been there when no one else was. Finally, I fear no more. We sat down one day this past winter and decided we wanted to commit ourselves to a religion. We both believed in God, but neither of us believed in the religious beliefs of our families. We both took religion courses in college and had a pretty vast knowledge of what to expect and what was expected (and accepted) of each religion. I had been asking him to go to church with me, but he kept declining my offer. I didn't want to push. Finally, we sat down and realized it would be best, not only for ourselves, but for each other, and for our son. Statistically, families that attend church and religious services have lower divorce rates. Plus, there's an amazing spiritual cleansing process that happens at church, it's invigorating! So, we decided we were going to pursue Catholicism.
This year has been full of changes, we married on Valentine's Day, he joined the US Army, we moved to Georgia, I had an epiphany, our son learned to read, and we found our faith. Faith is a funny thing...as it is all a matter of perception. So many argue with religion or the presence of a divine being; however, once you have experienced the other side, you realize there must be a balance present, there must be something divine and good to balance out the bad. How else could blessings like family and children be present? All I can say is I am so grateful to have this life...I've waited 26 long years...and it was worth every second of the wait!